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It took her two days to go from “I will be in your city” to “By the way, would you be open to having sex with me?”

To her credit, she didn’t take my reply of “You’re kidding, right?” the wrong way.



Some Female Online Friend just sent me a message.

“Hey Secretgeek, sorry for not e-mailing you in a while. I just wanted to let you know I will be in [Secretgeek’s Home City] this summer, and by the way it’ll be my birthday then. Hope you can show me the city and celebrate with me!”

We’re talking about a woman who, when asked about her hobbies, replied “lots of sex”, which she added was “natural” for a Latina like her.

This is either going to be a big dud or an interesting couple of days.


Sarah contacted me out of the blue. I think I haven’t talked to her in eight or nine years.

She said hello, and asked for my photo, which I sent her.

She said “You’re cute, Secretgeek!” and inquired whether I was married with children by now.

After I said that I wasn’t, she stopped replying again.


It’s a magic, whimsical life I lead.


Work is so tedious, so utterly boring I want to throw myself out of the window.

Yeah, people are really okay there. But I have literally nothing to do. My boss is a complete incompetent who basically hired me without understanding what it is that I am doing, nor knowing what he actually needs. Even what he thought he was hiring – he doesn’t actually need.

I now have a noisy upstairs neighbour. And by noisy I mean that they leave nothing out – slamming doors, jumping, moving chairs without lifting them, running around, running up and down stairs, and – to top it all off – they have a dog that likes to bark a lot. The only bright side is that they actually better themselves. The dog is now much quieter, and they don’t run around nearly as much anymore. All it took was some diplomatic feedback from my side. (“The next time you are loud past midnight I will come up and yell at you. Wouldn’t it be much better if you stop the noise and we get along?”)

Speaking of neighbours – do you recall my next door neighbour lady? No? Well, Two years ago, she invited me to spend some vacation time with her. What I didn’t know at the time was that she is actually married to another neighbour – which makes that event even weirder.

Interestingly, they actually keep renting two apartments. And a few weeks ago, the neighbour lady mentioned to me she is “sleeping in this [next door to me] apartment for a change” and she’s asked me several time to “come over for a coffee and chat”.

Not being as dense as I might have once been, I still wonder what the hell is going on there. After coming up with excuses at first I finally agreed to visit her one Saturday. Had a couple questions lined up that would help me understand their situation without being too nosy. And, well, the day we agreed to meet she wasn’t home.

She hasn’t bothered to ring at my door yet to apologize for – essentially – standing me up, but I suspect this is not the last I have heard of her.

Talked to a friend, and, since’s a geek like I am, advised him against purchasing a video game I thought was bad.

“But the videos of the game looked awesome,” he said. “Very promising. Did you see them?”

“Yes, but I tried the game and it sucks. Got a refund this morning.”

“But trying it doesn’t mean you know how it plays and what features it has.”


Days like this, I wonder why I still have any sort of hope for mankind.


I have a question.

Why are there female profiles with clearly male photos?

I don’t mean pre-op transvestites or other borderline cases, but profiles marked as “female” with absolutely normal, random, photos of guys. Pasty white guys in suits, mirror selfies of black guys, Middle Eastern Guys in sleeveless shirts, or other combinations thereof, I’ve seen them all.

I can’t imagine that people are really too stupid to select their correct gender in a form – or could they?

I usually report the profiles as “fake”, assuming they are generated by a scammer, but I do wonder.

Bahati inquired what I would be doing over Christmas.

“Probably nothing,” I replied. “Why?”

“Oh I just got engaged, and I thought maybe you and I should take a romantic vacation before I get married next year.”

She proposed a fairly nice destination but in the end we didn’t do it. One, because it was too expensive on short notice. And quite honestly, two, because I felt it was too scummy.

But something is definitely not right; she also insisted on spending the night of her birthday talking to me on Skype. I wonder.

Our receptionist likes the way I talk, how I communicate and can improvise sentences that put my rhetoric opponent on the spot. Or so she claims. And sometimes we talk about stuff, as I’ve mentioned before.

Receptionist: “So, how is your dating going?”

Secretgeek: “New girl. We’ll see.”

Receptionist: “Hmm. Well. I can imagine women do not have it easy with you.”

Secretgeek: “Sorry, what?”

Receptionist: “Well you know. You are special.”

Secretgeek: “Special? You mean I have some sort of mental issue?”

Receptionist: “Well you aren’t easy to handle.”

Secretgeek: “What now? I am easy to understand, do not treat any woman badly, I don’t play games, I don’t take things too serious either, and if a woman tells me to go away, I leave her alone. How can I be difficult to handle?”

Receptionist: “I mean that not every woman are able to hold a candle to you.”

Secretgeek: “…I guess I can be a bit picky at times, but I swear, I don’t judge books by covers too much.”

Receptionist: “Not that. You won’t be happy with a stupid girl. You need someone as bright as you are.”

Secretgeek: “Is this some form of sarcasm I do not get?”

Receptionist: “No, I mean it.”

I then admitted that I did like smart girls, and that it was a problem, because any smart girl would be able to immediately see she could do better than date me. We then talked about types of woman; I do usually go for the slightly more swarthy type – southern European etc. The receptionist knows that.

Receptionist: “So the blonde marketing girl won’t be your type, I take it.”

Did I mention that the Receptionist is herself black-haired?

Secretgeek: “No. But I don’t dislike blondes, for example the blonde sales girl is quite cute, and very nice too.”

Receptionist: “Oh yes, her! She is very nice indeed. Some people do not get along with her, but I find her very charismatic. Don’t you?”

Secretgeek: “Err, yes.”

Luckily we were joined by a third co-worker at this point. What’s with the Receptionist trying to talk up her co-workers to me?

Today I explained Dungeons & Dragons, Star Trek, and the Many-Worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics to a Russian prostitute whose rates I could not afford even if I wanted to.

Do not ask me how this happened, I am not quite sure myself.

Is it just me or is WordPress being very rude to me?



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