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Remember that second lay-off? Seems someone at our parent company got wind of it, and I was re-hired last week – at said parent company.

Will it last? Dunno. But it’ll do – at least until i find something better.

And it is a bit of a compliment, I guess.


In the supemarket. I am buying tea, pasta, a vanilla pudding, chocolate (because my life sucks), and sandwich bread.

Little kid behind me: “Ooooh Sandwiches!”

Me: “Yeah, I am making pudding bread.”

Kid: “What’s pudding bread?”

Me: “Two slices of bread, spread the vanilla pudding on them, and put the bar of chocolate in the middle.”

Kid gets wide eyes: “NOT REALLY!”

Me: “Oh yes! Absolutely!”

Kid (to mother): “MOM! Can I have pudding bread too?”

….I feel a little evil.

…when you are “forced” to punch a new hole into your belt because the old one causes your pants to slip. You know, that old hole you had punched into the same belt a year prior in a bout of optimism and that had always been so tight it wasn’t usable.



Instead of turning tail and running, the girl and I talked things over. No interest at all from her side, she says. But she wants to stay friends. Haven’t heard that before…

Oh well. At least it’s settled.

This is probably not the most “amusing” sort of post, but I feel that it keeps me honest: Since I stopped drinking sodas, I lost 15kg (33.07 lbs). Went to a checkup a week ago, and my doctor not only immediately noticed it, she says the values from my blood test are massively better as well.

I am no longer out of breath after two flights of stairs. My pants don’t fit anymore – they are too wide. I had to punch new holes into my belts. Shirts that were once a good fit are now somewhat loose.

So… how long is this going to take?

Even now, I don’t normally mention my actual weight. It’s just too sad and embarrassing. But I figure, nobody here knows me, right? I can be honest with you guys. So how much does Secretgeek actually need to lose?

Of course, that depends. According to BMI, I should lose another 45kg. That, however, seems unreasonable; it would bring me to ~80kg which I don’t recall ever weighing after my teenage years. I decided that I will settle for a two-digit weight, i.e. 99kg or less, and add some wiggle room. Make it 95kg (209 lbs). That means I have 30kg (66 lbs) to go. Ignoring any inevitable slowdown, that in turn means another 6-8 months.

I can do that.

Putting it into perspective

I’ve now lost 10% of my starting weight, and will end up losing 45%+ once I am at my target. 45kg (100lbs) is as much as a small dishwasher. It’s 450 bars of chocolate, or more than four average car tires. That’s insane. I can’t imagine strapping four car tires or a dishwasher to my back and lugging them around, but that’s what I am doing every second of my life.

Could someone please tell me how this madness started? Why the hell did I let myself become fat?

In early July, I posted about the quality of life improvements that were caused by the loss of my last job. Of particular note, then, was that I had lost 5kg (11lbs) of weight, mostly due to no longer consuming sugary sodas.

I am very happy to report that I hit a new milestone today: I have now lost a total of 10.6 kg (23.4 lbs).


The best part is, of course, that I don’t actually do anything for that. No exercise regime, no forced diet, nothing. Even went for pizza with a friend on Saturday. It will be interesting to see where my body finds a new balance. Will it be a good weight, or still be too high? Looking at what I eat, I am not really sure what I can do if I am still overweight once the natural weight loss stops, but let’s wait and see what actually happens before worrying about it.

Interesting article. If you’ve followed my blog, you’ll not be surprised that I am a) an very rational person who tends to over-think things and b) actually have the mentioned spreadsheet to track my online dating (lack of) success. Even if it’s a very shallow spreadsheet.

So, remember when I was fired? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Just returned from court and it turns out that the dismissal was illegal for four separate reasons (two of which I wasn’t aware of when it happened). I kid you not. It also turns out that my former employer truly and genuinely believes to be in the right. I’ve filed that, mentally, in the category “evidence that my [former] managers are wholly incompetent”. Anyway, as a consequence, they’ll have to pay me a good chunk of money. I could have gotten my job back, and while that would have been extremely amusing, I just don’t need that stomach ache in the long run. (Yes, I am aware that they still achieved their goal this way.) The money won’t make me rich, and frankly wasn’t the goal. The goal was to stand up for my rights, and that I did. Lessons learned:

  • Know your rights. My opponent didn’t, and thus acted stupidly.
  • Have a lawyer. A good lawyer is worth his fees.
  • Have insurance. Having insurance that covers those fees is priceless. I probably could not have afforded to sue otherwise.

Anyway, I am off to a celebratory dinner.

I lost my job a month ago and you know what’s odd? Instead of being sad about it, or worrying about the future, I feel great. I’m sleeping better, I am more relaxed, and I lost 5kg (11 lbs). Sure, that’s at least in part down to no longer drinking soda, but I think there is a reason why I managed to stop with the sugary stuff now, whereas I hadn’t been able to for years: I likely don’t feel the need to compensate for a job that was making me thoroughly unhappy. I can’t describe my last employer as anything but a bully or even downright abusive, and it was definitely making me unhappy and pushing me into depression.

I am the sort of person who puts up with a lot of nonsense and has a lot of endurance to see problems through. However, I have to admit that this is not a good strategy when it comes to your own life. If something makes you truly unhappy, you gotta get rid of it as quickly as you can.

Sure, sometimes you haven’t got any immediate choices and I don’t mean to encourage anybody to make snap decisions, but in hindsight, I should have left my last job years ago. I didn’t, and I paid the price in terms of a loss in quality of life.

It’s come to my attention – a while ago, actually – that I have a sugar addiction. I don’t mean this in a funny “haha I like to snack” sort of way, but in a rather serious way: It seems that whenever I buy my groceries, there is sugary food in it. I stopped buying candy, and what was the effect? I bought soft drinks instead.

It’s an interesting realization in that I had never been addicted to anything before – I do not smoke, and I only drink alcohol once in a while, and then very tame stuff (wine, mostly). I had always wondered why, for example, smoker don’t just put their foot down and say “enough” and just… stop.

I mean, I always understood it on an intellectual level, but I had no experience in how nasty your brain can be if it’s not on your side. In my case, I would just zone out and think of something else entirely and automatically grab a bag of candy off the shelf in the supermarket. Or, especially in the case of soft drinks, resort to excuses. “Eh, it’s just one bottle of Cola, no big deal.”

Except it is. There is a ton of sugar in your average softdrink. Sugar is not healthy. Certainly not at these amounts. And you gotta realize that I easily drank a liter of coke a day, maybe two on a bad day. I am frankly surprised I am not more bloated – or dead.

Sugar in Coca Cola, by CC-BY-ND-NC.

Sugar in Coca Cola, by CC-BY-ND-NC.

There’s good news, though. For a week, now, I have been off that stuff. And I have not compensated in other ways: No chocolate, no fruit gummy, no cookies, no ice cream. I have been drinking gallons of tea. The regular kind you make with bags and hot water. Without milk or sugar added, I should point out.

Wish me luck and stubbornness. I’ll report back in a month or so.



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