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My unexpected New Year’s date got cancelled again (big surprise), but the girl asked to meet me on January 1st. I almost told her to go to hell but then I decided it’d be nice to start 2018 with a date.

Met her for dinner, decided she was boring and fat, and left as soon as I could reasonably excuse myself. (And I apologize for being harsh, but really, she was obese. And, much worse, as dull as one of our two hour team meetings.)

Speaking of dating and fat people: As you guys may remember, I, too, am trying to lose weight. But I am doing it in a slow fashion, trying to re-train myself to eat better rather than chasing a diet fat or forcing myself into a gym.

Well, I signed up for Tinder again on a whim (and, likely, a desire for mental self-harm) and lo and behold, I am actually getting matches. Of non-bot female users who then actually talk to me for a little. So I guess I am actually losing weight.

Either that, or my selfie skills have greatly improved.


Just dropping in for two reasons. One, to wish you all a happy new year. May it be better than 2017, no matter how good or bad 2017 may have been for you.

The other thing:

About two hours ago, I actually got a date for New Year’s evening. 30 minutes ago, she cancelled again. And just before I posted it, she un-cancelled again. Oh and if the date happens, she’s bringing her sister, which leads me to think my chances of actually scoring are abut the same whether I go or not.

At any rate, with 5 hours and 40 minutes left to the year, 2017 ends with a fitting commentary on my life.

Good riddance 2017. Hello 2018. Play nice, k?

I’ve been bad about following up on my posts. Or even just posting. So here are some updates.

My visitor came and went. Of course, it was all a big dud. Who would’a thunk?

Sarah started emailing again. For a while, anyway. She would visit [my city], she wrote. My stance was, “cool, let me know and I’ll show you around”. She was very eager, but seems to have gotten cold feet. The trip to [my city] wouldn’t, she explained “bring me your way”. Since it is impossible that she meant this in a geographical sense, I assume she meant “no fucking way will our paths cross, you nerd”. Not exactly sure why she contacted me in the first place, but if there is anything we’ve learned in the eleven years this blog has existed, it is that women are a mystery.

Twists and turns twist in unexpected turns. While I was re-hired, I was placed under a boss who simply does not like me. I mean as in he had a negative, hostile attitude from day one. I eventually found out why at my performance evaluation: The man’s body language leaves no doubt that he feels threatened by me. You can imagine what chances I have for personal growth, raises, or any other improvements to my career. So I’m looking again. I have frankly lost track of how many jobs I’ve had in the past ten years. Six, I think.

Updates within Updates. My noisy upstairs neighbors were finally kicked out, to be replaced by a new, even noisier upstairs neighbor. Who moved out after a while. Now I have peace and quiet again. My neighbor lady asked to “have a coffee” once more and suggested that week’s Saturday. Not believing anything would come of it, I said “sure” and promptly forgot about it. The following week I met her in the hallway and she complained I had not been home at the appointed time. Karma, I guess, though I assume she sees things differently.

I’ve continued losing weight, but at a very marginal rate. I’ve improved my diet somewhat, though. Most importantly, I hardly drink anything but water these days. My next biggest challenge: Stop eating chocolate at work. My hope rests on I finding a humane job.


Remember that second lay-off? Seems someone at our parent company got wind of it, and I was re-hired last week – at said parent company.

Will it last? Dunno. But it’ll do – at least until i find something better.

And it is a bit of a compliment, I guess.

In the supemarket. I am buying tea, pasta, a vanilla pudding, chocolate (because my life sucks), and sandwich bread.

Little kid behind me: “Ooooh Sandwiches!”

Me: “Yeah, I am making pudding bread.”

Kid: “What’s pudding bread?”

Me: “Two slices of bread, spread the vanilla pudding on them, and put the bar of chocolate in the middle.”

Kid gets wide eyes: “NOT REALLY!”

Me: “Oh yes! Absolutely!”

Kid (to mother): “MOM! Can I have pudding bread too?”

….I feel a little evil.

…when you are “forced” to punch a new hole into your belt because the old one causes your pants to slip. You know, that old hole you had punched into the same belt a year prior in a bout of optimism and that had always been so tight it wasn’t usable.



Instead of turning tail and running, the girl and I talked things over. No interest at all from her side, she says. But she wants to stay friends. Haven’t heard that before…

Oh well. At least it’s settled.

This is probably not the most “amusing” sort of post, but I feel that it keeps me honest: Since I stopped drinking sodas, I lost 15kg (33.07 lbs). Went to a checkup a week ago, and my doctor not only immediately noticed it, she says the values from my blood test are massively better as well.

I am no longer out of breath after two flights of stairs. My pants don’t fit anymore – they are too wide. I had to punch new holes into my belts. Shirts that were once a good fit are now somewhat loose.

So… how long is this going to take?

Even now, I don’t normally mention my actual weight. It’s just too sad and embarrassing. But I figure, nobody here knows me, right? I can be honest with you guys. So how much does Secretgeek actually need to lose?

Of course, that depends. According to BMI, I should lose another 45kg. That, however, seems unreasonable; it would bring me to ~80kg which I don’t recall ever weighing after my teenage years. I decided that I will settle for a two-digit weight, i.e. 99kg or less, and add some wiggle room. Make it 95kg (209 lbs). That means I have 30kg (66 lbs) to go. Ignoring any inevitable slowdown, that in turn means another 6-8 months.

I can do that.

Putting it into perspective

I’ve now lost 10% of my starting weight, and will end up losing 45%+ once I am at my target. 45kg (100lbs) is as much as a small dishwasher. It’s 450 bars of chocolate, or more than four average car tires. That’s insane. I can’t imagine strapping four car tires or a dishwasher to my back and lugging them around, but that’s what I am doing every second of my life.

Could someone please tell me how this madness started? Why the hell did I let myself become fat?

In early July, I posted about the quality of life improvements that were caused by the loss of my last job. Of particular note, then, was that I had lost 5kg (11lbs) of weight, mostly due to no longer consuming sugary sodas.

I am very happy to report that I hit a new milestone today: I have now lost a total of 10.6 kg (23.4 lbs).


The best part is, of course, that I don’t actually do anything for that. No exercise regime, no forced diet, nothing. Even went for pizza with a friend on Saturday. It will be interesting to see where my body finds a new balance. Will it be a good weight, or still be too high? Looking at what I eat, I am not really sure what I can do if I am still overweight once the natural weight loss stops, but let’s wait and see what actually happens before worrying about it.

Interesting article. If you’ve followed my blog, you’ll not be surprised that I am a) an very rational person who tends to over-think things and b) actually have the mentioned spreadsheet to track my online dating (lack of) success. Even if it’s a very shallow spreadsheet.


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