Ah, yes. “Please Die” is one variation, but today I found a profile that consists of one long, hostile rant. Cute girl, but would you date her?

  • “If you think you don’t have to be wealthy at 30, find yourself another [nasty slang word for female reproductive organ]”
  • “I don’t need [nasty slang word for male reproductive organ], I am looking for a kind gentleman”
  • “Don’t think you can tell me a thousand lies, I will see through them all”
  • “[Nasty slang words for ‘go away’] from my profile, who do you think you are to look at it?”
  • “Why do small idiots continue to bother me?”
  • “Men with psychological problems, twitches, or other issues need not wonder why I never call back”
  • “No, I never had bad experiences, but I have three brothers, I know how men think”
  • “The ugly birds among you, why don’t you find yourselves someone as ugly as you?”
  • “It disgusts me that you guys just [slang for masturbate] to my photos”
  • “I am not superficial, but I am not a loser who needs to talk to ugly people”
  • “I am very caring and gentle for Mr Right”
  • “I am not aggressive, if you can’t handle straight talk [slang for anatomically impossible sexual act]”

It seems only fitting that the entire thing is riddled with spelling mistakes. I wonder what institution she was posting from.

Advertisements