It has been fairly evident, from the way Jenny didn’t get back to me, that I am not exactly high on her priority list. I was actually getting to the point where I’d settle for any sort of closure. Anything, really, because the wait is annoying.

So I decided to do something that is very atypical for me, I decided to actually force a showdown. I simply messaged her – I still do not have her current phone number – and suggested this week Friday (19th). It took her three days to get back to me.

“I already have a language practice appointment on Friday,” her reply read. “But we are going to cook and eat, so you can join if you want. Let me know.”

I mulled this over a bit. It’s clearly not a real date, that way, but at least I get to see her. I don’t know how many other persons will be there either – could be one, could be a dozen. Then I realized that the exact text I actually used – I paraphrased in the original post, for obvious reasons – could be misread to mean not a date, but just a “meeting” between former colleagues. I also realized that I am not sure just how confident Jenny really is; she always seemed very confident to me, but I know that I am still quite shy when it comes to dating matters, where I am usually not doing too badly for all other topics…

And finally, I realized that I really did not have a choice anyway. If I said “No”, there would be no guarantee that she would agree to an alternative date, and that it would be any “better”.

So I agreed that, while I had had something “with fewer third-parties present” in mind, it sounded like a fun thing to do, and that I would be there. Which means, unless I get booted again, I will finally meet Jenny on Friday evening.

And if I do get booted, that will tell me what I need to know, too.

Just for the record: I have more or less given up hope of actually being able to “date” Jenny. Her actions are just not those of a girl who likes the person she is dealing with. What tiny rest of hope still glimmers inside me is solely based on the “I hope you do not forget about me” line from January. And I realize that isn’t much.

So on Friday I will go on a date that really isn’t a date to get shot down by a girl I have had a crush on for years.

I can’t wait.