I’ve been sleeping a lot, lately.
Sure there are days when I still get no more than my usual 4-5h/night of sleep. But several days this week I laid down on my couch to “rest my eyes” and woke up 8-9h later, when my alarm clock rang to cheer me up for a new day.
On the one hand I am enjoying the sleep; on the other hand, I can’t help but wonder why I am suddenly deviating from established behavior.
I’m thinking that one reason is my work. Now, if you’ve followed my blog for any length of time you will realize that complaining about my work is a tradition around here. But there’s a subtle difference. I actually used to like my work; it was just the incompetents and stupid people I could not take. Nowadays, I actually hate my work.
And yet, I did not resign from my post yet. It’s not because I like my co-workers (except for Matylda, the cute Polish lady, and I have a Snowball’s chance in a CAT scanner with her). It’s absolutely not because I get paid well. I think it’s because I really do not know what to do next.
Or let me rephrase that: I really do not know what I want to do next.
I do not think I want to go back into Engineering. I guess I would, for the right position, but not in general. I’ve done that for way too long and. I also don’t want to stick to what I am doing now, because, well, I hate my work.
Unfortunately I am trained for nothing else and, as far as I have been able to analyze myself, have no other talents. I like cosmology, but there’s no way that I will be able to catch up on the math required at my age, and honestly I doubt that there are many jobs in that field anyway. I do like steady paychecks.
And so I stay put, take the abuse and escape into Dreamland until I can figure out myself.