So I headed into the bossman’s office, signed resignation in hand.
“Oh Secretgeek, thanks for coming.”
“Eh?” I didn’t know what he meant, but later it turned out he had messaged me on Instant Messenger while I was walking to his office.
“Thanks for dropping by so quickly, I need to talk to you.”
“Oh alright, what’s up?”
“Take a seat.”
My boss then proceeded to give me The Talk. That the management and my colleagues feel I do not fit the team anymore. That it’s nothing personal or related to my performance yaddah yaddah and so on and if I would please sign this little paper to cancel my contract? Of course I’d get two weeks’ salary as a severance package.
I had to fight back the laughter.
“I’ll give this to my lawyer,” I replied. “If he okays it, then sure.”
“Yes you do that,” my boss nodded. “It’s an excellent agreement. It was written up by high class lawyers at my previous company.”
“Sure, whatever.” I took the paper and left. Then I stepped outside the office and laughed for about three minutes.
My lawyer shared that laugh when I called him. And of course he advised me to sign nothing. My boss was seriously annoyed when I told him my demands for the severance package. He tried to convince me – he is a good speaker – but I just referred him to my lawyer. A week later, now, and my employer raised the white flag. It’s not going to make me rich, but let’s just say they had not expected that getting rid of me could be so expensive.
And to think I was about to resign. For free.