Found a link on to an article about a chick who found porn on her boyfriend’s computer. And from the sound of it, she narrowly avoided a trauma. I never thought I’d say this, but, damn, girl, you haven’t lived.

The world out there is full of weird things and unhappy circumstances. I’ve known swingers, group-sex-fanatics, and gay people. I’ve met girls with bondage fetishes, weird fantasies about doing it with their siblings; I’ve dated girls who, in somewhat slightly drunk moments confessed to rape fantasies. I’ve had to find out that girlfriends cheated on me in various nasty ways.

Here’s a particularly unpleasant episode of my life that I think I have never shared with anybody.

Some years ago, I had a friend (she is still my friend, but after I moved several times we lost contact) who had. shall we say, very liberal ideas. She thoroughly enjoyed her life, until she, one day, discovered that she was pregnant. This would have been a fairly routine problem, except that she couldn’t for the life of her say who of four guys might be the father – including her boyfriend, who of course promptly dumped her when she confessed the story to him.

The girl had, at this point, already decided to get an abortion, but she had truly expected her boyfriend to stand by her. Desperate, she turned to me, and in a tear-filled evening told me everything about it, in way more detail than I ever wanted to hear.

I provided her “cover story” when she had to sneak out of the apartment that she shared with her sister to go to the hospital. I accompanied her, kept her company as she waited with the other women. I was the only man there, and everybody looked at me. It was of course pointless to tell them that I was not the one responsible for any of it, so I didn’t try. Why embarrass the girl even more? I waited for her when the doctors took her away, and I held her when she returned and cried until she was too exhausted to do so.

“Secretgeek,” she said between sobs. “For a few weeks, I was almost a mother!”

It’s not an experience I ever care to re-live. Yes, she was to blame herself, but she paid for it by going through hell. She learned from it and is a loyal wife to her husband now.

So there are some really weird and nasty things going on out there. A lot of people have actual problems. And this girl gets all upset when she finds out that her boyfriend is a guy and likes to look at naked chicks? Please. What a cute little problem. Someone go and take her easy-bake oven and her barbie dolls away so she can grow up.