While I am very fed up these days I think there is also good news.
I think I have finally discovered what I really want to do, above all other things. The ironic truth is that it should have been obvious to me, because I have been doing (something very much like) it for 15 years already as a hobby. And the experience in my current job works right into it as well. I am still debating whether or not I should actually say what it is. It’s a longshot, really, but if I should seriously pursue it then I will want to talk “officially” about it and it may be way too easy to connect this and my alter ego.
Sorry for the “mysterious” post. This is (supposed to be) autotherapeutic; I never promised it shall all make sense to everybody. ;)