I didn’t get around to blog this, but I finally met Chanya on the 18th. She is, as she had announced, visiting her mother. Well, after that weird chat conversation I was a little wary of her, but she was very insistant that I meet her. Well, so I let myself be talked into it. Got on a train to Munich and then on to the little town Chanya’s mother lives in.

Well, what can I say, big mistake.

The town is in the middle of nowhere. Nothing there. I mean, really, nothing. There was hardly any restaurants in the town. “Downtown” was two cafes, a shoe store and a church.

Chanya and her family were all nice enough, except that they did their best to push the whole thing as a date. And sell Chanya to me. Chanya’s efforts included cheap champagne. Her mother’s boyfriend (a German) made a speech about the pro’s and con’s of getting involved with a Kenyan – and that I would really have to make sure I made “the right decision”. I felt like slapping him and telling him to STFU.

The whole experience was completely unreal. It soon became apparent that Chanya and I did not really have anything to talk about. I mean, we could talk about random stuff that random people talk about, but there was this expectation of a connection between us, and this was just not there. I felt sorry for Chanya, but at the same time I wanted nothing more than to get home.

Since then, Chanya has called a few times and sent a couple text messages. Since I don’t really have anything to say, and she seems to expect, whatever, she is being more blunt in her attempts at reverse psychology.

“I really must have hurt you,” she said once, “that you are now so angry at me.”

I told her that I wasn’t angry. But I just couldn’t get myself to tell her the real opinion – that I really don’t want to be a visa-provider, and that I do not for one second believe that I am anything but for her. How can you be so blunt with a woman; what if you’re wrong? Very hurtful, then.

Still, there is just nothing there. Ever drawn a complete blank when you were on a date? That is how I felt. I think about the only way I could be less attracted to Chanya is if she had been a man. There was just no kind of chemistry whatsoever. No nothing.

Chanya’s gotten more quiet by now. I am not sure when she’s going back home. I did offer her that we could meet in Munich, because from Munich to her town is about 3-4h by train – lousy train connections. No reaction, really. Which is sad – if she comes all the way here she should at least see some of the sights.

But whatever. I guess I will eventually have to tell her what exactly I think of her. But I hate to do that on the off chance that she will actually in some small way genuinely likes me.

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