Five years ago I had a girlfriend outside (but nearby) Germany, and went to meet here about two weekends a month (sometimes more, plus of course common vacations). Exactly five years ago to this day I came back from my frist trip to East Asia. The world was strange and big and unknown. Life was an adventure.

Then I moved here, got rid of my girlfriend, and started this job I am still holding. Sure, I still travel (three intercont vacations this year) but somehow things got pretty damned boring. Have I already gotten jaded by travelling? I don’t fly around that much.

Maybe the current national depression is simply affecting me. People are depressed. There seems to be no perspective. And as I posted before my company isn’t exactly in high spirits either. I have a kind of love-hate relationship with my job. I work with some great people and with some, well, morons; let’s call a spade a spade. Overall it’d be okay, but any corporation that cuts 20% of labour costs is having deep-running issues.

So is it just that? Or what is it? Am I simply getting old? I mean, normal people my age have two kids and a house. I don’t really want that, but maybe the reason that most people take that route is it is the nature of life to start sucking at my age. And these people simply resign to their fate.

What would be a good counter-measure? Damned if I know… I do not normally have fits of melancholy but tonight it’s really getting to me.

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