Had a language class last night. There are only two other students in the class; some guy and a Japanese woman who’s maybe mid- to late 30s. Last night the other guy was late; and while he was not yet there our teacher and this woman gut into quite a heated argument, which was caused by her not understanding correctly something the teacher wanted to say. Although, to the lady’s defense, I must say the teacher comes across as impatient and rude at times.

Anyhow, it turned out that the Japanese woman very recently broke up with her boyfriend. The poor thing apologized and cried, and everything. The two did clear the misunderstanding and that part was okay again afterwards.

Of course the whole situation was quite uncomfortable for me; I was happy when things went back to normal. I also really like her; I don’t know her too well of course, but she’s been always polite and moreover she she’s a very fun person. Her demeanor is very cute; she would sometimes exclaim stuff in Japanese (like “Ah, I see” – I wouldn’t know how to write it; it sounds like “Asoka”), she always has a twinkle in her eyes, her accent is really cute. She looks fine but certainly isn’t a supermodel; but that isn’t the issue. She is a kind of woman that is just simply adorable and that I can’t help but feel a little protective about.

In a way, if I may be allowed to be selfish for a moment, I am happy that she broke up with her boyfriend. I certainly wouldn’t mind asking her out sometime, to find out what she is like “in private”.

After the class, the other guy and I were out the door first, the japanese woman went to the bathroom or something; maybe she also got caught up talking to the teacher again. We waited for a while upstairs, then I waited for a little while downstairs at the exit – in such a way as to not too obviously wait for her. However, when I ran out of things to fiddle with, and she still wasn’t there, I felt silly standing there and waiting – and left.

I was maybe a hundred meters away when she finally came out of the building, and walked the other way. No way to catch her without running and/or yelling after her, and that I really didn’t want to do.

So, had I waited another 30 seconds I could’ve talked to her in private, offered her a shoulder and so on, and especially I could’ve said “bye” because I’ll miss a class or two due to work and a short vacation.

Stupid me.

Now not only do I have do wait a few weeks and risk that her boyfriend and she make up and get back together or – maybe less likely – she’ll find a new guy; I also missed a great chance to show her that I care.

Well, there ya go. Stupid geeky mentalitay and shyness standing still in my way at my age. You’d think I’d get over it some day.

Oh, well.

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