When you live in any kind of First World country – I never liked the tirms First World, Third World, etc. – and you meet some chick on the ‘Net, prepare for theobligatory questions which sound you out more or – usually – less subtly to find out whether or not you are a potential marriage candidate. I hate to propagate stereotypes, but one of these ladies, many years ago, contacted me on ICQ and asked me all kinds of questions. Do you have a girlfriend? Are you married? What’s your job? And so on. I guess my answers were satisfactory, because she began to sell herself:

Girl: “You like yellow skin?”
Geek: “I don’t mind whatever race people are.”
Girl: “No, I mean, you like yellow skin on girl?”
Geek: “Oh, leave me alone.”

I realize of course that for many people, whoring themselves out to some American or European is a whole lot better than staying in their own country. Take my friend Giselle from a Caribbean anarchy, for example. Nobody would argue that Haiti is a really crappy country. Years ago, her sister was shot (survived, as far as I know, but still), and days after that Giselle asked me to marry her so she could get out of her country. Naturally, I declined. Even if I had agreed – what about my friends in Nigeria or Asia, or Kenya or Indonesia or wherever? I can’t “save” everybody.

Now, so far, so good. Nobody can force you to marry some random Cambodian girl afterall. But there is another problem which isn’t immediately obvious. Imagine you actually meet a nice girl from kenya or wherever. Even in your own country – and she is pretty enthusiastic about you. How can you be sure she likes you, and not your nationality?

As a result, you become very weary of foreign girls who want to go out with you. Too careful, maybe, until you pass on opportunities where the woman is genuinely interested in you. And finding out who is honest and who isn’t is not too trivial. G. was honest and upfront about it. Most aren’t. And I really, really do not want to end up divorcing someone three years hence when they have a right to stay on their own.

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