Let’s begin dissecting my life. You tell me how messed up it is.

I am currently involved with a woman from South-East Asia. We met when she visited my home town several months ago. She is quite cute and attractive, can be nice when she wants to, and she’s definitely sex-crazy. All good qualities, no doubt, but she is kinda traditional too in that she wishes to be a “hosuewife and mother”. She is complaining constantly about the distance, and that she hasn’t had sex in too long. She can be unreliable too – for example, this weekend she is visiting “friends” and didn’t once show up online. (Is she cheating? Not sure. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt on that.) She wants to forbid me my hobby “computers”. You’ll realize what that means to a geek. Moreover, she expects me to help her with simple Google searches.

Lady, how do you think I learned how to use the Internet? By doing stuff myself. Using a PC. Either you accept my geeky side, or don’t ask me to help you with stuff that geeks are good at.

You probably realize that I am a little ambivalent about her. I’m guessing our relationship is mostly based on pheromones – I’m flying over there soon, so we’ll see what happens.

That, of course in itself, wouldn’t be too complicated yet. It gets “better”.

For several years now I have had this female friend who lives in South-West Africa. We used to talk a lot – on the ‘Net and I called her sometimes. Very cute girl, very sweet, very nice. It wasn’t long before things got a little more intimate – always remember this was a distance thing only, we have never met. That of course makes it easy to focus on the parts you like – and fill in the unknown bits with more parts you like in your imagination.

Be that as it may, she started to drop heavy hints that she would like me as her boyfriend/whatever. She eventually gave that up, saying that I would never visit her anyway (and she can’t afford to come here). I can’t blame her – I was really not prepared for the stress of such a long distance relationship.

My African friend then only stayed in touch very sporadically for many, many months, until she recently reappeared – flirty as always. I realized how much I missed talking to her – and this girl is alright. I know she isn’t just fishing for some white guy; if that is all she wanted she could easily get herself one. She is very beautiful. I am pretty sure she genuinely likes me.

As a result, since she and I started talking again, I am very tempted to either fly down there and meet her, or invite her up here.

I guess I am in the age now where I really ought to find that “one and only” girl. Distance isn’t a problem in principle – air travel is cheap, and while immigration would be a hassle I do not shy away from the effort, if that means I can find the “perfect woman” (whatever that means).

So there you are, my current relationship situation. It sucks. And it doesn’t even include what I call Visa Whores yet.