So. I was fired today.

Oh noes! What happened?

It has nothing to do with being a snitch; the stated reasons for the dismissal are pretty much made up. I have a lawyer on the case.

So, what’s your problem, Secretgeek, that you can’t keep a job?

Eh, I know exactly what my problem is. I am not good at putting up with incompetence, and I can’t not speak my mind when stuff is going wrong. Needless to say, when that incompetence runs your company, you don’t exactly endear yourself to your bosses.

…and now?

Well, how much are lottery tickets these days?

In all seriousness though, I am not really sad to leave that company. In a way, I probably needed the kick – I was putting up with too much nonsense out of sheer inertia. I had been trying to come up with a plan for the future for a while now, and I just never came up with a good alternative. Now I’ll have to apply for something more or less along the same lines – while I have money saved up it isn’t going to last forever.

In a twisted glass-is-half full way, though, that’s good, too – it means I will need this blog for the foreseeable future.

So – someone actually replied to a message I sent her. We exchanged a few messages, and while she seemed fairly convincing, I did some minor sleuthing and the preponderance of evidence indicates a Nigerian scammer.

I should perhaps just give in to irony and find myself a Nigerian girlfriend. You know, one that is actually female and lives in Germany.

 

I haven’t talked much about my family, but I just have to tell you guys about this. I just had a phone call:

Secret sister: “Hey Secretgeek!”

Secretgeek: “Yes sis?”

Secret sister: “Secret nephew told me today he wants to be ‘just like Uncle Secretgeek’ when he grows up.”

Secretgeek: “Oh?”

Secret sister: “Yeah. And he said he doesn’t just mean he wants to be as tall as you, but ‘exactly like cool uncle Secretgeek’.”

Isn’t that awesome? If you ignore, for a moment, that it’s a bit sad that he has recognized that his deadbeat father is not a suitable role model. (I could write a lot about that guy, and maybe some day I will.)

I’m frankly a bit surprised, and incredibly proud.

At the same time, I guess this means I now carry a big responsibility. If he really thinks I am a good example, it means I gotta live up to that expectation. Can’t disappoint my nephew, now can I?

I have a question.

Why are there female profiles with clearly male photos?

I don’t mean pre-op transvestites or other borderline cases, but profiles marked as “female” with absolutely normal, random, photos of guys. Pasty white guys in suits, mirror selfies of black guys, Middle Eastern Guys in sleeveless shirts, or other combinations thereof, I’ve seen them all.

I can’t imagine that people are really too stupid to select their correct gender in a form – or could they?

I usually report the profiles as “fake”, assuming they are generated by a scammer, but I do wonder.

I don’t post about politics, and I really should stay away from it – but this blog’s purpose is for me to vent, right?

I live in a city – and suburb – that has a high rate of immigrants. When I moved here several years ago, I thought that this was cool. Now I am getting tired of the verbal – and sometimes physical – abuse I have to endure.

Being from Turkey or North Africa doesn’t make you a lesser human; bullying others because you are in a group and they aren’t and calling them “sons of bitches” whose “sisters you fuck” does. I am frankly fed up with that sort of crap – I see it every week or so.

Really, you moved to Europe. Get with the program. Learn to behave yourselves according to local customs and social norms. If you can’t, you are free to leave. Send someone with brains instead.

Thanks.

Ever since I signed with my current employer, there have been persistent stories about the ‘exploits’ of one of our managers. That is, he sexually harasses his female staff. Some of the co-workers who told me about it claimed to be victims themselves, but I never witnessed any of it myself. At the same time, there are just too many reports by too many women – if this is not true, it would have to be a big conspiracy indeed.

I always “hoped” that I might be a chance witness, so that I could trigger something, but no such “luck”. I did encourage the victims to report it, but as far as I know none ever did.

Last week, and purely by chance, I ran into a woman who had left the company recently. I asked her why she resigned, as overall she seemed to be okay with the job.

“Secretgeek, you remember I told you he tried to touch me a couple times?”

“Yes,” I said, dreading where this might go.

“He actually put his hands between my legs once. Nobody – none of the women anyway – will enter a car with the man. It is really terrible!”

“So why didn’t you ever complain officially?”

She shrugged. “You know what would have happened? He’d say, ‘I didn’t do this’ and that’s that.”

I had to concur. But I had to think about this a lot the past few days, and so today I sent an – anonymous – mail to our CEO, who is usually quite approachable. I didn’t name names, but made clear what the situation was, and that I realize that he can’t do much based on rumors. I suggested that he should remind all staff that such behavior is not tolerated – and include guidelines what a victim should do.

I don’t know if it’ll help. But at least I did something.

Right?

A lady liked my profile. Seemed like a nice person so I decided to send her a message.

“Hey Secretgeek, thanks for your message – unfortunately you’re simply not my type, sorry.”

Okay, then.

I think morale at my workplace has hit a new low. I’ve been listening to people who come to me to bitch about the management – I think they kinda trust me because they know I am our bosses’ top enemy – and it seems that not one soul trusts any of our managers. They’ve been described as “liars”, “selfish”, “despotic”, “untrustworthy”, “stuck in a 1930s mindset”, and worse.

I can’t really deny any of that. As far as I can tell, the local management is basically working into their own pockets as best they can – supporting each other for raises, while not even forwarding requests from other employees. Covering for each other when they take days off (“sick days”, “work from home days” if anybody asks). One guy overdid it so much that he was fired for taking excessive amounts of sick leave (about 60% of work days, I kid you not) after he was observed at a party while “ill”.

The local managers who can approve orders themselves have bought themselves nice mobile phones, iPads, induction charging stations, usb memory sticks with LED usage indicators, and other gadgets.

I’ve raised the issues several times before and told them, obviously without naming names, what staff thinks of them and how I think they should do better – presumably at least part of the reason why I am enemy #1 – but you should not think that the behavior changed.

It’s not really my problem, but I’ve successfully defied them in the past – illegal orders, violations of company process, and attempts at bullying me into resigning – and so I’ll try to raise the issue with our CEO. I don’t really think there will be any sort of change, but I think it might be amusing.

Besides, it’s good conflict training. Maybe when I am done with this mess I can actually think about getting into management myself. In the past, that idea scared me, and I turned down the opportunity twice – but perhaps it’s time to actually try and do it better.

Just, really – not in this company.

So I was in a good, optimistic mood today and asked my coworker Hannah if she wanted to join me for lunch.

“Sorry, Secretgeek,” she replied, “I just don’t feel hungry at all today.”

Sure, no worries. So I went to lunch with my colleagues Paulo, Muhammad, and Terrence instead. Paulo drove us to a restaurant we usually walk to, on account of wanting to quickly stop at a shop afterwards. Ten minutes later, Hannah and Steven walk in. They must’ve left the office about the same time we went to the car.

Too bad Hannah couldn’t have simply said “I already got plans”. So either there’s some odd business going on… or women now lose their appetite when the prospect is lunch with me.

Alright, so I now have it in writing. I am not a genius – my “age-dependent” IQ is merely 122.

This isn’t supposed to be a humblebrag. I get that it’s decent. I’ve always known that I would not score under 100, but that I also wouldn’t be Mensa material. I never really bothered to find out; and it’s kinda sorta neat to know where one stands, and what one’s limits are. I scored highest on logic and lowest on the math type questions.

And while I am on the subject, I am also an INTJ. I am aware of the Forer Effect and the grain of salt that it offers, of course, but the description of an INTJ is a reasonably good match if you wanted to boil me down to one of sixteen possible personality types. So perhaps that is the real tragedy of my life – I am not smart enough for the sort of job that an INTJ personality would be good at, including the ones that involve secret volcano lairs on tropical islands.

Oh well.

 

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