So much has happened. Both in the world, and in my life. In hindsight, I really wish I had kept this blog going. Documented all the crazy stories of the pandemic for future digital archaeologists to find. I didn’t, because I was so very tired.
Now that we’re well into 2023, I think it’s high time to revive The Secret Geek Blog for good.
Let’s start with what’s new in my life, because that’s always been the core of what this blog has been about. An autotherapeutic rant about the shit that happens to one aging geek.
Back in 2019, I was looking for a new job, because mine sucked. Then the pandemic hit and I decided to put those efforts on hold. After all, back in 2020, nobody really knew how this would play out. It was, of course, the right decision, but meant I spent two and a half more years in what can only be described as an abusive professional relationship.
It wasn’t all that bad, though, in that my boss left for greener pastures, and our new acting team lead turned out to be pretty okay.
And then our CEO fucked up. I can’t go into details, because this would be highly recognizable to anybody “in the know”, but let’s just say he was up to no good. He got caught. Legal got involved. Things were being swept under the rug. Then he got caught again, and I decided to escalate things up the corporate ladder, right up to God Almighty himself. Well, the corporate version, anyway, the CEO and owner of the big corporation that owned the subsidiary that my employer was a subsidiary of.
The gears of justice grind slowly, and the immediate result was that I got bullied by the perp. I remembered I had wanted out anyway, and I decided to talk to one of the many recruiters who contacted me. They asked me what I wanted to do next, and before I knew it, I was hired.
I am now line manager for a total of twenty-five people.
I mean, the pay is better, and in some ways, it was a good move. I am learning new things. I might even have the opportunity to steer things in the right direction for a change.
But fuck me if there aren’t a gazillion downsides that make this so not worth it.
First and foremost, I used to have to only deal with my own tasks. Well, now I have twenty-five people who all have tasks, and maybe half of them are really not doing a great job. They require a great deal of hand-holding or even micro-managing. And if you think that one guy micro-managing a dozen others does not scale well, you are so very right.
I did not track my work hours in detail – I started to, but I quickly stopped because there was simply no time. I estimate I worked an average of 12h per workday at the end of 2022. I’ve since “cut down” on hours, and it’s closer to an average of 10 hours now.
My boss, whose promotion opened up the position I was hired for, is still interfering with my team. When it’s time to do the actual work, I get to do that. But he oftentimes overrules my decisions. Not because my approach is wrong or anything, it’s just that he likes to be in charge. Needless to say, this creates a situation where my direct reports pick and choose who they talk to. Just like children who, if they don’t like what their mom told them, approach their dad in hopes of getting a more favorable reply.
Most days, I get home and either fall asleep on my couch or doze off in front of my PC.
I’ve been considering leaving this company again. And I really should, even though part of me wants to stick with it until I can show at the very minimum a full year of Management experience, or better two. I am just not sure if I will survive this for an entire year, much less two.
Case in point, I am typing this at 3:00am, after getting home at 10:30pm and falling asleep for a few hours.
This is absolutely how I had imagined my life growing up.
Not.
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